I’m not the biggest fan with rap music, but I respect Nicki Minaj big time. I first heard Nicki on Young Money’s “Bed Rock”, and even with that song I doubt I’ll ever get tired of. Anyway, Nicki’s Pink Friday album is on my favorites in my collection. I thank my God sister for getting it for me for Christmas. (She’s bestest) I’ve been listening to her album since the moment I ripped it off the gift wrapper. I can’t really choose which songs I like the best ‘cause really I haven’t actually listened to them all. Though as of now, my top 3 would be:
1. I’M THE BEST - I haven’t heard of this song til I actually got the album. I love the orchestra at the background, and the lyrics make me feel better about myself. And what better way to start her album with this song as number one. Mothafuckah “I’m the best!”
2. MOMENT 4 LIFE ft. Drake - “I wish I can have this movement for life. In this moment, I just feel so alive.” It doesn’t get any deeper than that. It makes you think of a moment you want to re-live over and over again. Or a moment you’re long waiting for and when you get it, you’ll do everything to never let it go. Another song that gets me going.
3. SAVE ME - “I can feel myself giving up.” Possibly the saddest song in this album. I’m sure everyone can relate. Nuff said.
I’ve heard of people who think she’s too animated and she’s not much of an artist, but I disagree. To me, an artist creates something (art) that makes a person feel something (emotion). And Nicki’s songs gets me hyped up at the most and sometimes reminisce of hard and good times. Nicki Minaj is definitely one of my favorite artists from 2010. I can’t wait til her next album.
Growing up, I’ve always been known as an “artist.” Son of an architect. Go figure. I would bump into old classmates from elementary and the most common question I hear is “Do you still draw? I remember you were such an artist. You even colored nicely.” I’m don’t want to come out bragging. I mean like I’m not that good. Besides, its been a while since I ever “drew something”. And I miss it. I’m also curious if I can manage to do anything with a pencil. So I’m trying it out. Make use of my break. Create a new stress reliever. Possibly, create a master piece. Who knows.
My work station: notebook, glasses, pencil, ruler, paper, markers, laptop, music, Dr. Pepper, and Ferro Rocher.
I’ve been dreading the day I would check my grades. So today was the the day. I didn’t want to procrastinate with it any longer. My heart was racing when I logged onto web-advisor. And fuck yeah! I passed my classes. I was dancing like I won the fucking lottery. I SURVIVED MY FIRST SEMESTER OF COLLEGE!
ID180: & EN110: both C’s. College Success and Freshman Composition - I was worried the most with these two. I procrastinated A LOT in both classes. They’re not the grades I wanted but fuck it, I PASSED! Hells yeah!
ED110: A. Shiiit I best get an A cus it’s Intro to Teaching.
ED192: P. Obviously P for pass. That class was a real pain in the ass.
MA085: UW. I seriously didn’t take that class seriously. lol So I got an unofficial-withdrawal. Math really isn’t my forté. Go figure.
Come spring semester, I gotta give it my all - tone down with the procrastination, brush off on the distractions, and all that good stuff.
Pokémon Black and White: Nintendo’s 5th generation of PokéMonsters are said to be translated and released to the US by spring 2011. I’ll be honest, I’m excited to see the graphics. The game’s graphics have been improving. I’m real proud to experience the changes through out the years. I remember me back in the 3rd grade with my yellow Gameboy Color, which I still have, and all my other Pokémon stuff, which I still have. Haha. But anyways I looked up the new game on youtube a few minutes ago. The graphics are pretty cool, but the new Pokémon? All I can say is WHAT THE FUCK?! I saw a fucking two headed ice cream cone as a Pokémon. No doubt it’s an ice type and I’m thinking they’re trying to have the same concept as Doduo and Executor. No joke, the fucking thing is an ice cream. Seriously man, props on the graphics of the game but the Pokémon? What. The. Fuck. I am ashamed.
Hey you! Yeah, you. Remember me? We might last summer - last year. We just ended our junior year and I think it was the first night of summer. Anyways, I just wanted to say that I think I will always be attracted to you. It’s strange though; we’ve never actually met in person, and our “thing” lasted a little over a month. But yeah, just wanted to let it out. I see pictures of you online and I guess I’ll always be attracted to you. Weird huh? Oh yeah, but thanks for introducing your friend to me. Haha ;)
p.s. I hope we do get to actually hang out some day. You don’t seem as weird as I’ve heard you’d be.
1 year and 5 months ago: I was introduced to you and all my intentions were just to be friends. 1 year and 4 months ago: I couldn’t accept that I had a crush on you, and it didn’t help when we finally meet in person. 1 year and 3 months ago: You were always on my mind. It was crazy, the good kind of crazy. 1 year and 2 months ago: I obviously liked you. 1 year and 1 month ago: We talked almost every day. It surprised us both with how we had so much in common. I thought everything was going great. 1 year ago: Things were just about to become official but confessions were told, and we thought it would be best to go our separate ways. 11 months ago: It was obvious that neither of us could let go. Then a promise was made. 10 months ago: It was surprise after surprise. I definitely had a birthday worth remembering, from beginning to end. And I loved you for that. 9 months ago: You strangely grew distant and I never found out exactly why. I tried to reach out to you, but you thought otherwise. 8 months ago: Without a doubt, everything was different. 7 months ago: You were changing, but you assured me on your promise. I should have been happy, but I didn’t feel like it. 6 months ago: I couldn’t think straight. You were on my mind more than ever. 5 months ago: School started and I had no clue how to act if ever we came across one another. 4 months ago: Assumptions filled my head. I formulated crazy conclusions. I was driving myself insane. 3 months ago: We finally talked. In person. It had a rough start but had a smooth ending. 2 months ago: I was better. 1 month ago: Reality came knocking. I was beyond stress with other things. And yet you gave me a very pleasant surprise. & now: My feelings for you never changed and I’m really confused. So hear me out because I truly mean it when I say, I miss you.
Comparisons are easily done, once you’ve had a taste of perfection. Like an apple hanging from a tree, I picked the ripest one but I still got the seed.
You said to move on but where do I go? I guess second best is all I will know, ‘cause when I’m with him I am thinking of you. I’m thinking of (you) what you would do if you were the one who was spending the night. I wish that I was looking into your eyes.
You’re like an Indian Summer in the middle of winter. You’re like a hard candy with a surprise center. How do I get better once I’ve had the best? And you said there’s tons of fish in the water, so the waters I will test.
He kissed my lips, I taste your mouth. He pulled me in, I was disgusted with myself. ’Cause when I’m with him I am thinking of you. I’m thinking of (you) what you would do if you were the one who was spending the night. I wish that I was looking into your eyes.
You’re the best, and yes, I do regret how I could let myself let you go. Now the lesson’s learned. I touched it. I was burned. I think you should know that when I’m with him I am thinking of you. I’m thinking of (you), what you would do if you were the one who was spending the night.
Oh, I wish that I was looking into your eyes. Oh, I wish that you’d walk through and bust in the door, then take me away ‘cause in your eye’s I’d like to stay.
One of the prettiest sunsets I have ever seen. It was just a random Wednesday afternoon. Renee and I went down to Agana after class and we didn’t expect to see this. I was just lucky enough to have had my camera with me. Thing is, I just chose to post it now - two months later. Haha my bad.
Who am I kidding? Its possible I may be fooling a shit load of people. Then again, I may just be looking at a mirror and those shit load of people are fooling me. So who am I kidding? Who’s the fool here? Obviously I am. It’s also possible I might just be spitting out nonsense. Hah now I see what it means to “spit”. My apologies to Danielle and the Sinangan-ta Poetry Slam.
If there’s a feeling passed”being emo”, then I would think this is it. And hell no I am not going to get a butcher knife and start chopping my body parts. And no I am not depressed, or well I don’t think I am. Am I? Shit. I don’t know. Psycho? Crazy? Yeah, possibly.
You know what else? I forgot why I’m even making this post in the first place. In the first place? Or at the first place? Whatever. I got side-tracked by my notifications on facebook. Well yeah. Expectations will break your heart. I’ll leave it at that.
In summary: I am an amazing and handsome person in the entire universe. Everything about me is fucking perfect! I’m everything you want in a guy. Determined. Funny. Easy going. Easy to talk to. Care fee. Intelligent. Romantic. It’s impossible NOT to fall in love with me!
So it’s official, we have 5 days ‘til Christmas. Fuck yeah! It’s been a while since I’ve been this excited for Christmas. Most would think that I wouldn’t be since a few of my good friends are off island for college and what not, and with the fact that my grandfather passed on last month. Nonetheless, I feel like the little boy 10 years old who was eager to unwrap a shit load of presents come Christmas morning. Though, I doubt I’ll be getting as much presents as I did back then but whatever.
I don’t quite remember the last time my family actually “planned” a Christmas gathering. We call it the “Visperas Clan Christmas Party”. Visperas being my relatives from my mother’s side. For those of my friends who are actually reading this, Visperas is the umbrella name that then branches to the Caalims/Ramoletes, Leones’s, Celestes, etc. This explains how I’m “related to everyone” on this tiny island. Anyways, explaining my family tree is besides the point.
My point is that the past few Christmas’s haven’t felt so Christmasy. I suppose the reason why I feel hyped up this year is because the VCCP is happening at my house. And we’re planning a bunch of games to keep things interesting. And my room is currently a mess with party and Christmas decorations. I feel like I’m back in high school, planning for prom or graduation. Sigh* The little things I miss from high school.
Well yeah. Despite whatever went down this past year, I’m really looking forward to the 25th. I’m also really looking forward to the new year. I have to say, 2010 was quite the roller coaster ride.
I don’t remember how I started writing but it became such “a thing” for me. If not every day, I write at least one or twice a week. I usually write when I get inspired or when I just need to let my thoughts out. I’m not the best writer out there. In fact, my grammar occasionally needs a little fixing. And I don’t take writing to its literal meaning. It sometimes irritates me to write on paper. Since I got my laptop, my entries have always been typed-written instead of hand-written. My point is that this year is coming to a close, which means a new year with new memories. New memories equal new thoughts. New thoughts equal new entries. This time, I’ll be logging my entries in a notebook. I’m training myself not to rely on technology so much. So it’s time to get back to basics.
One more class! One more class! One more fucking class!
My English class tomorrow morning is my absolute last class for this fall semester. I am bursting with happiness! Haha that totally did not sound queer at all. Anyways, my English class is my favorite class amongst the rest. It’s the class that I made the most new friends in. I actually liked the class, though never did I think I would struggle the most with.
Right now, even as happy as I am that it’s almost over, I’m stressing like crazy. So last I check, I was barely passing the class. And for sure if I turn in my paper 2 and do my final presentation tomorrow, my grade will go up and I’ll definitely pass. But with whatever shit happened, I couldn’t do anything with my paper 2, which is even 20% to my final grade. And my final presentation tomorrow is 10%. Do you know how ridiculous that looks like?
Well anyways, my point is that what I’m doing is reasonable. Right? By at least having my final presentation ready for tomorrow’s class is better is than having 2 zeros. Right?!
Okay. Yeah. It is the reasonable thing do. Right. Okay then. Now I just have to grow some balls to tell my professor why I didn’t complete my paper 2 when she already extended my due date. Shit.
Firstly, I crashed out right when I got home from school yesterday. I slept from 8PM to 6AM. Talk about a good night’s sleep. So I woke up well rested but with that long ass sleep, I just wanted to get my ass back in bed, especially since it was a Friday morning. Unfortunately, I had to wake up early for an observation with my older cousin’s pre-school class for my ED192 class. It went well. The kids are too cute, makes me want to visit the class again.
Secondly, I’ve been txting a bunch of people today and majority of the time, my txt messages haven’t been going through. It was either because I lost signal or I totally missed the send button or whatever. In addition to that, for some strange reason, I pick up the worst signal on the first floor of my house - in the kitchen, the dining room, the living room, the computer room, the laundry room. Shit man, its like my dad chose some heavy-duty cement to build this house.
Speaking of receiving bad signal, (thirdly) my wire-less internet decides to go crazy on me tonight. I think for the past hour now, I’ve been getting disconnected and been receiving terrible signal. I thought it was the cable connection but my TV was working perfectly. I even suspected my younger brothers because they were playing games on the computer in the computer room, but they were claiming that they weren’t using the internet.
Fourthly (is there even such a thing? whatever) I was lucky enough to have my English professor extend my paper 2. So I sent an email to this guy, Dr. Julian Aguon, who I had hoped to hold an interview with this weekend - tomorrow. But what the heck, I still don’t have an email back. Now what do I do? Pfft. Seriously man, some professional.
And fifthly (haha sounds worse than fourthly) my friends cancelled on a movie night at my place. They should have been on their way here by now. To make things even more twisted, my parents are out somewhere out there with my auntie and uncle, who lives with us. So technically speaking, since my grandparents slept at 9PM and the kids act as if they’re chained in their room, I have the house to myself tonight. I can literally walk around naked and no one would know. As a cherry on top to this ridiculous day, it is now 11PM, which means that this Friday night is still young.
I guess I’ll just catch up with Glee. I missed the last 3 episodes. I got to be kidding myself. Absolutely ridiculous.
I prefer hotdogs over corndogs. Ew. Just thinking about a corndog makes me wanna throw up. Sure its easier to eat a corndog, but you can’t put chili or onions or pickles or jalapeños or whatever on a corndog. Am I right? Yep. I’m right.
I’ve been back on island for a little more than 20 hours now and I still haven’t unpacked. And I’m going back to school tomorrow, which I’m really not looking forward to, other than seeing everyone again. Nothings changed much. Then again, I’ve just been gone for a week. What could possibly change within a week? I hope you caught my sarcastic tone on that last sentence. Well its now around 3 in the morning, so good night everybody.
Welcome back home. Sure it feels great to be home, I missed everyone. I missed my room and I missed the rain, the island breeze, and the non-polluted air. I don’t think I can go back to sleep, maybe because I’m on my laptop making up for the week loss of internet. Or maybe its because I’m back home. Back to the usual. Back to reality.
Going back to school on Monday. I got about 2 weeks left of my first semester of college. And looking back to it, it sucked. I had fun here and there, but I rarely had those moments. Eh. And drama, heart break, stress, and every other crap that life throws at you when you’re 18. I just want to close my eyes and when I open them, I’m back at the Philippines where I feel most free.