Honestly, can 2011 get any lamer? Not to sound too prideful, from graduating as class of 2010, but last year was far better than this year. Okay maybe there were some fun parts of this year, well yeah duh, there has to be. Anyway, this Halloween is going to be so lame! #1 I don’t have a costume. As if that would matter since #2 I have no set plans. So it would be sorta useless to dress up. #3 I don’t feel it. I guess ‘cause Halloween is on a Monday. How lame is that?! I have class in the afternoon then I’ll be going out, doing whatever I feel like doing, then gotta kinda go home and sleep early for class for Tuesday morning. Damn.
So since Halloween is on a Monday, people are doing shit this weekend. Yeah there’s so many places I can go and have fun at, but since I’ve been out lately I plan to lay low, stay home for my parents’ sake. Teehee, me being a good boy. I’m just looking forward to Sunday’s hike and other plans. I’m seriously not excited for Halloween. And I usually am! Fuck. And I just remember that I got a paper due Halloween night! So lame man.
I was going through my old posts and found this (see “read more” link). Totally forgot that I wrote this, and it’s even funnier ‘cause my mom did surprise me with a weekend trip to the Philippines last Thursday. It’s crazy staying there for literally a day, then coming back as if you never left. I mean, shit, I was just at the PI last Friday. Wtf? Anyway, I’m positive it’s becoming a tradition with my mom and sister. Gotta take advantage with the perqs from Continental Airlines.
I just realized how many of you guys I have. lol That sentence is terrible. Or well it makes sense, sort of, but you know what I mean. Anyway, yeah. There’s so many of you, at least more than I hope to have, or at least thought I would have, or…yeah.
You’re on my Facebook’s “top friends” list. I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen you on that list, since I restrained myself from viewing your page or “check up on you”. I guess it was a way, a very small way, to try and move on? I don’t know, and I don’t know how you’re back on that list. Okay maybe, I checked your profile a week ago, but I’m sure that was just once. So yeah. Maybe it’s a sign? If so, it’s a shitty sign cause I don’t know what the fuck it means. Possibly I’m over thinking it. Yeah, I’m over thinking it. I thought I was done with that. I thought I was done with you. But are we done? I guess not, since we never actually happened. I miss you. There, I said it. Sure school’s being a great distraction from everything, like I’m actually focusing, can you believe it? I guess you can, and I know what you’d say “Well good for you, you Loser!”, and you’d say it sarcastically but mean it. Confusing shit for whoever’s reading this, but you and I both know what I mean. We just connect like that. Right? Right. So how’s about I miss you. I truly deeply sincerely miss you. I won’t define in what terms of how I miss you (maybe I shouldn’t even have mentioned that), but yeah, I miss you. And just seeing you on that “list”, it really tempts me to “check up on you”.
Just a minute ago, my little brother walked into the room with some heart breaking news. Turns out my cousin’s best friend past away last night from an asthma attack. As my brother left the room, I looked out the window and saw my cousin walk by. I could see the pain in her eyes, though she looks down as she walks she keeps calm. Mind you that they’re in the 4th grade, this just goes to show that life is short.
I just wished I ran out of my house and gave my little cousin a hug before she left. My cousin is the sweetest little girl you’ll ever meet, sure she annoys me at times with her weirdness (don’t even get me started), but she definitely doesn’t deserve to lose a best friend like this. Since my cousin is a sweet girl, I can only imagine how sweet her best friend must have been.
My heart goes out to heaven’s new little angel and her family. <3
But not in the way that you think, so fucking calm yo tits. Since I’ve joined this wonderful humble of oath, my way of speaking has changed. I don’t know whether for the best or for the worst. Maybe a fair mix of the two. But what I really hate is that I follow some amazing people. There’s good looking kids (fo’sho), creative kids (I wanna be just like you!), and sarcastic kids (high five). I say that they’re all from fucking Narnia or some shit! And what’s worse, I’m seeing pictures of freakin’ cute ass couples on my dashboard. Fml man! Forever alone or what? And the reblogs of shit that I can’t obviously afford. Seriously? I don’t know, “it’s a Tumblr thing” I suppose. It sure does a fine job at making me want shit tho. Pch.
I guess I’ll shut up and get ready for school now </3
"I see you looking right past me. And that look in your eyes I know its not for me and it never will be. I could be invisible, no, I am invisible to you. You even said you weren't available and I believed you, and then suddenly for a moment you were, until someone else walked in and then I became invisible again. Maybe I misunderstood what you wanted or maybe you don't know what you want yourself."
I’ve learned overtime to just be happy for people who have found their significant other. I was always the kind of person who’d be negative about something when someone would be all like “aren’t they cute together?”. Instead of just saying yes and accepting the fact that I’m a lonely single bitch, I’d say something like, “ew” or “not really!”. But what does that do for me? It only made me come off as bitter and a bitch. Inside I’m happy for them, but on a deeper level, I’m jealous. I want to settle down. I want to make someone special to me very happy and I want people to say nice things about us. But how can I expect others to do that when I can’t do that myself? My time to be happy in that sense will come. Until then, I just have to accept, and live up the single life.