So as weird as it sounds I actually found you bc we have one friend in common on fb and you popped up on the side.
Now I am glad I looked on a hunch because:
1.) both our names are Ryan
2.) Both of us live/have lived in Guam (My dad was stationed at Andersen from 1997-1999) Best place ever, amirite?
3.) Both of us have tumblr
Oh and although I am not Filipino I am in the Organization of Young Filipino Americans (OYFA) here at UVA because of my Filipino friends here.
Anyway glad I found your site.
Nice to meet you, Ryan. lol Funny saying my own name. But it’s cool tho. And obv, I still live on Guam. I think I always will. Who would this one mutual friend on FB be, btw?
I went out with Angie to lunch yesterday at Wendy’s and Yogurtland. So we’re waiting in line, trying to decide what the hell we’re going to order. And being me, I was talking pretty loud like I didn’t give a damn, which was true. I didn’t know anyone there so who cares. I obviously didn’t. Anyway, I tell Angie that whenever I order a small chili, it never fails to put a smile on my face. Like a smirk or whatever. She got the joke, but I was dead serious. And you gotta admit, it is funny. So I’m next in line and this happened…
Me: Hi. (speaking somewhat quick since I knew what I was going to get) I’ll get a BLT cobb salad and a medium Sprite with a small chili. (smirks)
Cashier: Okay. That’s BLT salad, medium sprite, and a small what?
Me: (confused) A small chili?
Cashier: A small what?
Me: (raised my voice) Chili.
I wanted to laugh so loud. I don’t know if she over heard my conversation earlier, but wtf?
“When we first met, I didn’t want to get involved with anyone. I didn’t have the time or energy, and I wasn’t sure that I was ready for it. But you were so good to me, and I got swept up in that. And little by little, I found myself falling in love with you.”—Nicholas Sparks
I missed them. It’s been a while. But I’m glad that I heard from you tonight. Also that you actually did wanted me to call you. It was nice, just like old times. It even helped clear things up, which was good. Even despite whatever will happen later today, you still took 2 hours to talk to me, to check if I’m doing okay or whatever. It was really nice. Like I said, just like old times. Good times. And I think I can actually fall asleep now. Thank YOU.
Although my laptop and wireless internet both provide unlimited and instant news, I still refer to the newspaper. And since day 2 of the new year, Guam has not been getting much good news. Then again when is “news” ever good, for the most part it’s not. Like any other day, I picked up today’s PDN and was surprised to feel how thin it was. I recall hearing from someone that a thin newspaper is a good sign. It means there isn’t much news, and not much news would assume that there’s good things happening, or at least nothing bad is happening.
Despite what I remembered, today’s thin newspaper wasn’t so happy after all. The first page alone displayed a big picture of Ryan’s funeral yesterday, only reminding us about the terrible incident 16 days ago. Underneath that article reads Condolences given to family of hiker, apparently our island lost another last Sunday while hiking. (RIP Erynn Hayward) And next to that article are two others that read Eye on North Korea, China and Surf Warning.
Starting tomorrow, my life is back to “normal”. It’s back to school, back to familiar faces, and back to a daily routine, possibly even acting like nothing happened. As the saying goes - life goes on. And with how this new year started, I ask, Are we really still living in paradise? Especially considering the two things most of us enjoy on this island, the beach and the hikes, we lost three.
Funnest? Is that even a word? Well “funniest” is completely different. Eh, whatever. The funnest getaway from 2010 will have to that one day I skipped school with Lannyvelle and Lheary last February. Renee left off island, but she was with us spiritually. Haha
Marbo Cave and Bigs Balls Cliff-side: Avatar in Marbo Cave. Deer prancing on the dirt trail. Almost smashed against the sharp rocks from our “Are you down?!” waves.
My house: Webcam pictures with our dugyot-selves. Lheary’s “nude” picture. Ice cream. Surprised Renee with a phone call and yelled into the phone wishing her a happy birthday.
Tumon: Killed time at the beach with lovely weather. I left a message on the sand for Peter to see after paddling practice, but he never got to. Jerk. Ate lunch at Fuji-Ichi-Ban, where we received a surprise visit from Danielle and Matt.
And I forgot what else. I think that was it. Good day. Very good day.
Eh, this was a bad angle that made my cheeks look sorta fat. So I cropped it. Anyway, crazy people huddled up in my room doing whatever, while I was outside entertaining the rest of the crazy people at my party. But! Those crazy people in my room dragged me to drink at least one cup of 151. Which I did, and obviously took a picture with the bottle. Then left those crazy people in my room. Best day ever! Actually, best WEEK of 2010.
Doesn’t matter who I’ve known longer, talk to the most, hang out with the most, share the most secrets with, I love them all just the same. They’re the ones that never left my side. The ones who don’t judge me. The ones I can be completely comfortable with, and I mean ABSOLUTELY comfortable with that it freaks me out sometimes. Haha. I love them all. No names mentioned ‘cause I’m sure they know who they are. ❤
Worst day ever. Worst day. Thinking. I am thinking. My head is hurting from thinking too much. Hmph. I don’t think I’ve ever had a “worst day” last year. At first I thought it was that one night, I got into this big argument with my parents and I ended up sleeping over my cousin’s house, and blahblahblah dramadrama. But that happened 2009. Ohwell. I guess I had a good year. Sure it had its downs, but good for the most part. Which is like, good. Haha.
My birthdate (March01) and birthday party (March06): My birthdate was on a Monday and despite my dislike for Mondays, that day was a good day. Like duh, it had to be. lol No trouble with my classes. Went out with my LYLAS to Tumon, then Jer and Catt surprised me. Woo I’ll never forget that. Story of my life (sorta). I didn’t know what they were going to do while I was blind folded, but they surprised me with Peter after his paddling practice lol. It was nice to have a day, especially my birthday, with all my best friends. Bestest Monday everrr! Then the following Saturday was my party. I didn’t get any crap/drama from my parents, which was really nice. So yeah. Ew I sound like a complete blonde right now. Whatevs.
I honestly tried fighting it, but it didn’t work. Ever since we kissed, I’m all messed up. At first I thought, wow! What was that! And then I tried to tell myself that things like that happen sometimes and that it didn’t mean anything. But I can’t get you out of my head. I really tried, but I can’t and now everything’s so complicated.
I’ve never actually been in a “real” relationship. I gave it some good thought and came out with nothing, or actually nothing worth writing or reading. lol My response would be all cliché. Go figure. Though I did stubble upon something while reading the “True Believer” by Nicholas Sparks. And I quote:
"…No matter how kind of responsible a man was, if she didn’t feel any passion, she couldn’t help but think that she’d be "settling" for someone, and she didn’t want to settle. That wouldn’t be fair to her and it wouldn’t be fair to him. She wanted a man who was both sensitive and kind, but at the same time would sweep her off her feet. She wanted someone who would offer to rub her feet after a long day at the library, but also challenge her intellectually. Someone romantic, of course, the kind of guy who would buy her flowers for no reason at all.
It wasn’t too much to ask, was it?
According to Glamour, Ladies’ Home Journal, and Good Housekeeping - all of which the library received - it was. In those magazines, it seemed that every article stated that it was completely up to the woman to keep the excitement alive in a relationship. But wasn’t a relationship supposed to be just that? A relationship? Both partners doing everything they could to keep the other satisfied?
See, that was the problem with any of the married couples she knew. In any marriage there was a fine balance between doing what you wanted and doing what your partner wanted, and as long as both the husband and wife were doing what the other wanted, there was never any problem. The problems arose when people started doing what they wanted without regard to the other. A husband suddenly decides he needs more sex and looks for it outside of the marriage; a wife decides she needs more affection, which eventually leads to her doing exactly the same thing. A good marriage, like any partnership, meant subordinating one’s own needs to that of the other’s, in the expectation that the other will do the same. And as long as both partners keep up their end of the bargain, all is well in the world.”
Nicholas Sparks, you the man. And Nae, again, thanks for the book. And also for marking that page with a heart. Haha
(I was sorting through old folders and binders from high school and came across one of my old English papers. I remember this one very clearly, but I don’t remember what the actual assignment was about. Anyways, I just thought I’d like share it.)
My days are numbered and I’m trying to make the best of it. Everything is simultaneously flashing before my eyes that things don’t seem the same anymore. I’m no longer that little kindergartener coloring out of the lines. I’m no longer that seventh grader experiencing puberty. I’m not longer that freshman dreaming of a perfect senior year. Times are changing, whether I’m ready or not. They say that everyone moves at their own pace, but I guess I’m just two steps behind everyone else.
Like everyone else during their freshman of high school, I dream’t nothing more than a perfect senior year - a year of adventure, excitement, and possibly a bit of romance. I’ve never been so excited to start the first day of school. As I walked through the halls greeting and hugging old friends, I thought to myself, “This is is it, this is my year.” As senior class president, I felt unstoppable. I felt it was up to me to make the perfect senior year that everyone dream’t of. This was my chance to make that shared dream into reality.
As excited as I was, I neglected the fact that I haven’t made up the missing half credit from my AP English class last school year. I went through summer school, but missed three days which caused a NC. That 0.5 difference made me ineligible to be considered as a senior, thus my resignation of office. Since then, I felt vulnerable, embarrassed, and ashamed. I thought that was it, the end of my perfect senior year. A dream of mine smashed before I could even do anything about it.
I went into a condition of hating myself. A condition of thinking that I can’t do anything right, that whenever something bad happens, its my fault. I built a wall between my friends, my family, everyone around me, and most especially the real me. That wall kept me from enjoying the rest of my senior year. I didn’t know what to do. I tired almost everything and anything to make the best out of the situation, but nothing seemed to completely work. I was too stubborn and reluctant to just accept my mistakes and move on.
Now that my days are numbered, I am trying to make the best of what I have left of my senior year. I was two steps behind everyone else and now it’s time to catch up. I am no longer that stubborn student nine months ago. I’m getting better and slowly learning from my mistakes. I regret nothing and now accept that things happen for a reason.
They always say “on the TV”, “on the faucet”, “on the air-conditioner”, “on the microwave”, and “on the lights”. ON WHATEVER! It’s as if they’re telling me that there’s something ON THE TV or whatever.
Geeze people! C’mon now, I tell you all the freaking time - You TURN ON the TV, you TURN ON the faucet, you TURN ON the air-conditioner, you TURN ON the microwave, and you TURN ON the lights.
It’s also the same with “off” - off the TV, off the faucet, etc. sigh*
'Cause idk how else to reply to you and I doubt you're on facebook and if you are, I'm not online lol but anyways, oh you know. Staying up. Nothing fancy. Nothing new. Just finished cleaning out my closest. Found some interesting stuff. Gonna finish about 2 more chapters from the book you gave me. Then if I feel like it, I'll sleep haha.
Aii adai, procrastinating this one. Good luck and get off of tumblr haha. You have to pass that class and help me with it this coming semester. Well yeah, get off, get that paper done, and get some rest <3
I'm mucho sad that the weekend is almost over and nothing productive was done.
My room is even more of a mess.
I only finished one chapter from my book.
I haven’t touched my drawing in days.
I’m hoping for a good week, especially since it’s the last week of break ‘til I get my ass back to the university. I can say good bye to sleep-in’s and hello to morning classes and one Saturday class. sigh* At least I’ll have Fridays off.
Call me stupid, but I don’t really understand this question. lol ‘Cause I remember answer something about what it takes to win my heart. I find these both of these questions similar. Yeah? Yeah. So I guess I’ll take it by the literal meaning of “turn on”. Haha sounds nasty.
A gorgeous smile: Nuff said.
Kissing: lol Sounds so awkward, but yeah kissing. From a peck on the lips to full on making out. I say that everything begins with a kiss ;)
Singing: Like who doesn’t wish to have someone serenade them?