You worry me. I don’t like the idea of having to resort on drinking when life brings you down. I’ll admit that I occasionally do this, but to some extend. Unlike you, I don’t resort on drinking alcohol to get drunk to make sleeping easier. Alcohol won’t make much of a difference. You’ll just get drunk and think about your problems even more. And you’ll probably or most likely do something stupid. Yeah. Probably add more to your list of regrets. But like I told you, there are no regrets, just lessons or mistakes to learn from. And yes, it is perfectly okay to cry. It’s better to cry it out than drink it out. It’s better to go to bed with all your emotions out of your system rather then knock out and wake up hungover. And it’s good to know that you learned your lesson the first time. See? No regrets, just lessons to learn from. Two bottles is good enough. Wipe away those tears, wash your face, and go to bed. I just wished I was there to keep you company.
I’ve only seen you once, or probably twice. And it just so happens that I had a dream of you last night. Like what the hell? lol Way too funny. I don’t even really know you, yet I saw you in my dreams last night. Ya. That didn’t sound corny at all -.- Well yeah, I don’t even know how you sound like, so I don’t know how my brain got the dream to work. And the weird part is, it felt so real. So I tripped out when I woke up. Haha. And it must have been some dream ‘cause I woke up at 1:30pm. Oh man.
Well hell fire save matches fuck a duck and see what hatches!
I’m may be old news but I just found out that this year’s American Idol is Scotty McCreery, a typical All-American teenager from North Carolina. No, I can’t say I’ve actually watched a full episode of American Idol and I’ve never followed it since the whole series started, but in my opinion, the show is Country music territory. I’m normally not a fan of country music. I don’t know why, but if I’d like to start a day with my choice of music, country wouldn’t make it to my top 5 choices. But since I’ve been looking up videos on youtube of this Scotty kid, I’ve been listening to nothing but country music since this morning. lol For those who are like me and don’t follow American Idol, you should check out this year’s winner. He’s about 16 or 17 years old, but God he can sing.
My favorite country song? I think it would have to be I Hope You Dance by Lee Ann Womack, which I’m currently listening to.
I wanted to go jogging earlier, but my mom said no. She thinks I’ve been going out a lot lately. She clearly does not understand the meaning of summer. She defines it as an opportunity for me to find a summer job. She’s right tho. Still, I wanna have fun! Ugh. So I spent the last 2 hours staring up at the night sky. And with the weird weather lately, I’m glad that it didn’t rain on me. It was even nice out. I would have probably enjoyed it more if I was able to take the car out to Tumon for a jog. Bleh.
I’m still outside. I’m at the back, in the extension. It’s sorta like a “sun room”, if that’s the right word for it. It’s basically a patio with walls, windows, and doors. I find it as a tiny house, with the extra TV, bathroom, sink, and fridge. Since the doors to the house are all locked, I could probably just sleep here. But besides the large dining table and chairs, I don’t have much to actually sleep on. Maybe I should knock on my siblings’ window for me to go in the house, when I feel like it.
I swear, I don’t know what mom’s problem is. She’s been moody lately. I should probably blame her job. She has been coming home a bit later than usual. Even though, I don’t see that she should be all mad and just bitch at me at random. God. You know, maybe I will stay out here tonight. I’m just lucky that I left the laptop out here charging earlier this afternoon. Obviously no one noticed it to care and bring it back to my room. And I have the TV to entertain myself. And this place is pretty sound-proof too, with the glass sliding door to the main house. We’ll see happens.
Damn. I didn’t notice that my dad came home. He just unlocked the sliding door. I wonder if he’s gonna stay up a little bit. Hmph. He even asked me why it was locked, seeing as I’m out here. I’m sure he’s clueless to what happened between me and my mom a few hours ago. Oh well. The morning promises a new day. Let’s hope my mom does go off to the Philippines for the weekend and I’ll have the car all to myself.
Just finished reading Catching Fire. Took long enough. I finished the first book in 3 days and this book took me about a week? Pitiful. Well I guess ‘cause I got caught up with summer. Anyway, for those who are looking for a good book to read, pick up a copy of Suzanne Collins’s Trilogy - The Hunger Games. You’ll go hungry for more.
This is the earliest I’ve ever woken up this summer. Damn. I guess I’ll be getting through the day with 5 hours of sleep. I might as well get with it. It’s been a while since I posted random thoughts. Lehgo
Freaken Jessica just had to wake me up. Ugh. I don’t even remember what I was dreaming about.
I think I should catch up on some Glee. Thank you Hulu.com for existing.
Motherrrr. One reason why I dislike waking up early is that my parents tell me to do shit before they leave to work. lol But I won’t even lift a finger.
Oh God I’m lazy.
Lmfao. My music is bothering Jessica. Well, tough luck! That’s what you get for waking me up early. Hmph!
Fuck my hair, manggg. I wanna grow it out, but you know that awkward stage? Yeah, that. I hate having to wear hats almost all the time. I think I should just get it cut tomorrow. Eh.
I need a stylist.
NO. I need a stinking job!
Woohoo! Almost done reading Catching Fire. At least I’m doing SOMETHING productive - reading.
My grades are pitiful. Spring semester is the death of me. *dead
I’m on Tumblr a lot these days. Idk if it’s a bad thing. Maybe.
Stop it! You’re way too cute! Just stop! You’re distracting me, and you’re like from fucking Narnia or something.
I need to start beaching it. Like what is summer without the beach? And I live on a damn island. Terrible.
That awkward moment when your friends’ parents send you a friend request on Facebook. It’s worse than having family and relatives. Idk maybe it’s just me. ‘Cause the last thing I want is having my friends’ parents think of me differently with the weird ass status updates and pictures I post up. I mean, I watch out for the stuff I post up to not be judge by my relatives but still, at least they already know how I am. I mean, I’m not exactly the real me around my friends’ parents. Bleh.
This is why I’m GLAD that my parents have the right minds to not get sucked into social networks. That’s just flat out weird if they do.
There’s sarcasm behind that question so don’t get heated over it alright? Well I just don’t understand why some people have to know if a dude is gay or bi or straight and if a girl is down for another girl. Like are your hormones heightened that much that it will turn you on to know if someone isn’t straight or is? What if I told you I just like to appreciate both men and women? Would that automatically make me gay?
And really who are you to label someone based on their attractions at the time. I mean I know women who are all over men, but they still find women damn right sexy. And I know only a few men who will honestly tell you straight up that a dude is good looking and not be ashamed of it or not have to say “no homo!” as for me aye I want to meet my wife, raise up a family, teach my children lessons of life one day. but I won’t lie, hella things turn me on.
That being said I believe I can appreciate a man who is good looking and a woman who is straight up gorgeous. I can have attractions, but at the end of the day it’s who I want to be with, which is a woman. So there’s your answer to the question I know you were creeping about person who’s name shall be left unsaid.
You don't realize how strong a person really is until you see them at their weakest moment.
To the Burce Twins: Condolences to your eldest brother. I think I’ve only seen him like twice or probably four times, which is funny since we’re neighbors and all. I know he was truly a good guy, caring for his younger siblings and his own growing family. I wish I could just work up the courage to knock on your front door and give you both a great big hug. But I will soon, promise. I’ve watched you two grow to be the strongest set of twins I know for almost 8 years now. And to Kristina, I’m not sure if you went off already for the Airforce, but I know you’ll do great. Just know you have us here on this little island cheering you on, also both your parents and Carl watching down from Heaven. Watching down on you and the rest of your family. I love you both!
To Rae: It’s been a while, but still condolences to your mom. I wished I met her, but I can see that she did her job well and raised a strong little girl. You are truly the toughest and strongest shorty I know. You’re a really great friend, even if I’ve just known you for a few months. I love you, and you know Mharjie and Angie do too. We’ll always be here for you!
It may not be always be easy to be strong, but just know that you’re never truly alone.
Supposedly today was supposed to be the day of the Rapture; the second coming of Jesus. As you can see, it’s not, but that doesn’t mean you guys should mock the event. Who knows. Maybe it’ll happen tomorrow. Or the day after. Or even the day after that? Who knows if anything in the bible is even real, but to mock the fact that today didn’t happen is like adding fuel to the fire. If there were to be apocalypse, or rapture, or Judgement Day, don’t you think that he would remember you mocking this day? I don’t know. I think that we should all let it pass and thank God that we are still alive.
One thing about me is that I’m someone you can talk to. It’s not that I enjoy listening to other people’s problems and shit. It’s just, I know how it is when you have all these thoughts and feelings, and you have no one to talk to, then all of a sudden you can’t keep to yourself any longer and you just vent. You explode and let it all out.
I’m a listener (if that’s the right term for it). I won’t give much advice, and I won’t force it out of you, but I will listen. And sometimes, I don’t like it. ‘Cause once I hear about someone’s life and shit, I really feel for them. Like no matter who you are. No matter what the relationship is between us, I will listen and I will feel for you. And sometimes it gets a little too much.
Sometimes, I’ll get a bit attached, especially if I have feelings for the person. I’ll get worked up with my emotions, but try to keep calm and show that I’m here for them. Sometimes, I just wanna hold ‘em and be that shoulder to cry on. So whenever I listen to someone, especially when it’s about something bad and/or depressing, I worry. And sometimes it keeps me up at night.
I hope you’re sleeping well. I really wish I could be there with you right now, but listening to you earlier was all I could do.
I’m anxiously waiting for my last exam at 12. I got me about an hour left. My textbook is still in my bag pack, which I’m obviously neglecting studying time. Well, I did study yesterday, thinking that the exam was then since Tuesday and Thursdays are when I have Environmental Bio. I even got 4 more short essays to finish for Lab. Woo! I am seriously lazier than ever!
My message:Do me ONE favor. Promise me that you will not be a stranger.
Your reply:I promise. I'm sorry I couldn't give you the time to hang out. But I wont be a stranger. I'll be back some day. And hopefully things will be better. Take care of yourself and keep yourself happy. Love you, Ryan.
My thought:I swear, you never cease to pick me up, even when it's you who brought me down.
Take me where I’ve never been. Help me on my feet again. Show me that good things come to those who wait. Tell me I’m not on my own. Tell me I won’t be alone. Tell me what I’m feeling isn’t some mistake. ‘Cause if anyone can make me fall in love, you can.
Save me from myself, you can. And it’s you and no one else. If I could wish upon tomorrow, tonight would never end. If you asked me, I would follow. But for now, I’ll just pretend…
Do me ONE favor. Promise me that you will not be a stranger. It’s been too long since I heard from you, even more so, been around you. And it just sucks, but whatever. Please, don’t be a stranger.
Like I said, I’m really gonna miss you. Stay safe. I love you. And I am very proud of you.
Good luck with the Army, JP! Safe trip! Represent Guam well, bro.
Tonight, I totally needed it. I love you guys! :’)
Babe, you sonuvabitch! Now every time my phone receives a text, I see your freaken face and your freaken middle finger. Haha! And I’m freaken lazy to change it. Argh
Uhm. Despite the good night, I don’t think I was suppose to see that. I’m trying my best to forget about it. Whatever.
Finish last 4 papers for BI-100 Lab, study for PY-101 and B-100 exams. Shoot. It’s freaken cake! I probably won’t get any sleep tho.
Friday! I’m motherfucking excited for you! Yeaaah!
Summer! Summer! Summer! I’ve never been SOOO excited for it before.
Peter, safe trip. Wished I could see you off at the airport, better yet, I wished we had the chance to at least hang out while you were here. Yeah. You too, represent Guam well. Good luck with the Marines.
I don’t know whether I should be upset or angry with you. You said that you’d always be there for me, so where are you now? Well where ever you may be and whatever you may be doing, stay safe. I love you.
You do not know how thankful I am that I met you. I absolutely love how you’re so free spirited and how you’re always smiling. And when I least expect it, you never seem to disappoint me. Also, thanks. I’m really glad that I got to see you today.
I’m glad that we finally met, and I hope that’s more to come in the future. And I’m positive that we could be good friends, even despite whatever happened.
I don’t know what the fuck you’re doing, but I seriously don’t like it. Wtf.
I miss you. I am in a desperate need for an adventure.
I am very upset with you. I don’t know how and why you’re playing along in this little game. It’s random people like you, that I slowly lose trust in people. That I can never expect to trust anyone. It’s people like you, that I now think twice about a person’s smile.
HOMEWORK vs SLEEP: Fuck. I’m having a good ass weekend, but I keep forgetting I still have class on Tuesday. Just got home from a night out with a couple of friends. Had a totally bumpy start, but we still had fun. Or well, I did. Haha. Mental not tho: Do not check out Club Fab til the age of 21. We didn’t feel comfortable “dancing” there. And personally, I thought of the place more of a hang out and drink kind of deal. Anyway…
I hate that I have this lab report to do that’s due in about 10 hours. Bleh. I might as well turn it in in person on Monday, even if I have no classes. Argh. Fuck procrastinating. Yeah. Thought I should say something on tumblr since I’m already procrastinating. Hehe