Tonight, I missed out on the Adult Poetry Slam. Why? I stayed home doing lil 1 and 2’s for my cousin’s upcoming cotillion, with her entourage’s first practice tomorrow afternoon. And in a few minutes, I’ll be reading a shit lot for WG101. Damn. I thought taking an online course would be easy. I was even forewarned all the shit load of reading material, idk, didn’t think it would be this much. #g’night
You guys watch Face Off on Syfy? If you don’t, you should, esp if you’re into art and the likes. Anyway, my absolute favorite challenge is when the artists paint a nude model into a pictured background. Call me a lil pervert, but it’s so interesting! Lol. Sometimes, I wonder if the guys ever pop a boner while on set. And if so, what happens to the painting? Oh man. If I were some badass artist, I wouldn’t mind experimenting with a nude model. Honestly.
"Married Life" by Juritztiction "Doesn’t Matter" by Jeff Bernat "She Ain’t You" by Bei Maejor "Lovely" by Deepside "Be Where You Are" by Trey Songz "One Wish" by Matt Cab "Just The Way You Are/So Sick" MASH UP "Somebody To Love" (Cover) by Matt Cab "Skippin" by Mario "Panty Dropper" by Trey Songz "Do It To Me" by Keri Hilson "Gotta Be You Man" by Chris Brown "Kisses In the VIP" by Bei Maejor "You & I" by JRA "Thinking About You" Frank Ocean "Causality Of Love" by Jesse J "Lost Without You" by Robin Thicke
There comes a point in your life when you begin to resist the temptation to hold anything back. You’re continually growing as a human being and feeling as if you still need to please the people around you shouldn’t bother you anymore. You’re your own person and you need people in your life who are going to embrace and understand who you are, not people who are going to continue pulling you down.
Why was it so hard to carry a conversation with you today? Gah! And you’re probably reading this right now. If you are, I’m probably txting you as I try to fall asleep or I already said good night. Whatever, this rant is about me, er about you, uh yeah. Gah! But yeah. Damn. I feel so weird. Embarrassed? Probably. I’m dumb. Well, if you are reading this, what I’m trying to say is. Er, nevermind. You’re probably not reading this, silly of me to think you check my blog every night. Well, you did mention that you do. Oh gosh. Maybe I should just stop. Yeah, okay. Uh, yeah. I like you. K bye.
That’s a good question. I don’t think I have an “exact” answer as to where I get “my inspiration” from. I remember being told that inspiration is everywhere. It’s not a question of looking for it, but just feeling it to actually get “inspired”. So yeah, I get different inspirations from different things around me.
“Loneliness is black coffee and late-night television; solitude is herb tea and soft music. Solitude, quality solitude, is an assertion of self-worth, because only in the stillness can we hear the truth of our own unique voices.”— Pearl Cleage
I didn’t get my shit done at SOE today ‘cause I was to dizzy to drive. Still am. Got only one class tomorrow morning, then hope for the best to finally fix my schedule. I best feel better soon. The little kids in the house are driving me nuts with all their laughter, yelling, and playing. Only thing I look forward to is exchanging my books for cash, and having a legitimate excuse to be out of the house. And see familiar faces.
This early morning, mom wakes me up asking for my car keys so my uncle can take my car to his shop to get tuned up and shit. The rest of the day was filled with gloomy weather, and a slight fever taking over my body. Some Monday if you ask me, but there is a good side to this story. Let me get through the highlight of my day/evening. Just a few minutes ago, my uncle comes back with my car. I thought, okay whatever, until I watched my mom, from the computer room window, climb into the driver’s seat. Then I thought, oh shit. I anxiously waited and then jumped to my dad’s voice, “sigarilyo?!”. Fuck.
I waited and watched til my dad faded into our carport’s shadows. I then bravely walked out to the kitchen, with the front door wide open to my car, with my mom still on the driver’s seat. I quietly popped a pill and hydrated myself ‘til my mom walks in. She minds her own business and walks into the laundry room. I thought, “It’s now or never. Do it now. C’mon. Blow up!” Nothing. Nothing but the soft hum from our dryer.
I had enough, either she cracks now or I cowardly slip in some my good news to forget all this happened. I choked.
I told my mom about Beaudy’s phone call this morning about a job offer with Creative Party Planners. She didn’t seem too pleased. She thought the job would interfre with school. ‘Til I further explained that it’s sort of “on call” and I’m still gonna try to get hired with Jer’s job. Her face showed content. Until she ask, “what about your classes?” Fuck. Where do I start? I explained to her about my current 10 credit schedule and how I’m gonna head to UOG tomorrow to fixed this shit with SOE. She politely nodded. “Okay.” Then I slowly backed away.
Now, I hear my dad coughing from outside. Is he watching me from the shadows?! Shit. The suspense is killing me! Either they’re mad about finding the used cigarettes from the party, or they ignore the whole thing. (I just had to leave them in my car!) I suppose it’s part of growing up, and probably my parents are the accepting types. But one thing’s for sure, there’s a lot more my parents don’t know about me. And whenever that happens, I’m terrified to know how they’ll take it.
When I tell someone I miss them I genuinely mean it. No, I don’t say “I miss you.” just to save a conversation. To me, when I say that to someone it means I actually feel that your presence is missing and my mind, soul and body craves your existent. I actually feel the pain of not hearing your voice, seeing your face, and feeling your touch. But at the same time, not in a clingy way.
Nooooo, that was me during the summer! Omg. I'm touched that you actually remember that message. I still visit your site a lot, even though I don't follow you. Oh gah, I sound like a stalker. I probably am. No I'm kidding. Maybe not. It's not like I've seen you in person. Well anyways, I should ask you a question so that you could reply. Oh, so I was wondering what your major in college is? Awww man, this thing limits how much I can say... I.. uh.. hi! =)
Oh shit. I only saw this now. Well anyway, hello there, Anon. Apparently it’s been a long time. And my major, I am still undeclared. But I’m looking into double major in English and Secondary Eduction, and probably with a minor in Guam History.
Maybe I’m asking for too much, but I want someone to miss me enough to text/call first out of the blue just to see if I’m still alive. Enough to make plans to catch up without them bailing on me last minute because something else came up. I want someone to say that distance won’t change anything between us and actually mean it. Why? Because it’s one of the best feelings ever to know that someone out there misses you enough to do something about it.
Family bondings. Beaching it. Oka Point. Evening jogs. Late night phone calls. Good morning/night texts. Spontaneous dancing. Laughters. Down trips. Smiles. BBQ’s. Spontaneous drive arounds. Catching up with Lannyvelle. Cancelled plans. Gallivanting. Feasting like there’s no tomorrow. Trey’s 1st Birthday. Bumming out and staying home. Beach volleyball. Coffee runs. Spontaneous lunches. Finally getting back into keeping thoughts on a notebook. Bumping into random people at the mall. Starting a new book. …And strangely enough, I didn’t take much photos from this week. Dammit. Oh well. It was a good week :)